Jamie Otis shares emotional message about losing her baby
Jamie Otis opens up about miscarriage: 'The world expected me to get over it'
Jamie Otis is paying tribute to the son she miscarried.
Over the weekend, the 36-year-old "Married at First Sight" star took to Instagram to share a compilation of photos from her first pregnancy with baby Johnathan, who passed away after 17 weeks in her womb.
The slideshow featured photos from her pregnancy reveal and hospital visits, to snaps of her growing bump and eventual miscarriage.
"Everyone around me was getting pregnant and keeping their babies, but mine was gone. I felt like God was punishing me," she wrote to her 854,000 followers in the caption. "I mean, all I've ever wanted was to be a mommy. I was so excited for this sweet baby boy, but he was ripped out of my life as fast as he came."
Although the reality star "didn't know" why her baby wasn't healthy, she still has "faith" and can "feel his presence."
"I only got to hold my first born son for a few minutes before he was taken away and sent to a laboratory…I don't know why our sweet Johnathan wasn't born healthy and breathing…," Otis wrote." But, I do know he is still with us. I can feel his presence — and whenever I begin to doubt it, he shows up in bigger ways…I just have to have faith."
The "Bachelor" star penned the emotional message for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, which took place on Oct. 15.
"…If you have also suffered a loss, I'm sending you so, so much love today. I know it hurts and nothing anyone says or does takes the pain away…But please know you aren't alone and you're allowed to mourn your baby however you want and as long as you need," Otis shared.
"I felt like the world expected me to get over it within a week or two …but I couldn't 'get over it' that quickly. I had a deep dark hole in my belly—in my soul—and I ached for my baby," she added.
Otis ended the post by saying that although it took time to feel better, she will always remember Jonathan.
"It took me many years to feel OK (and not just angry, sad and confused) to have carried and delivered an angel on earth," she concluded. "I will never, ever forget this little angel baby of mine who made me a mommy."
In the comments, fans showed support and expressed their sympathies for the mother-of-two
"Nothing prepares you for the loss of a child. The loss community though is so unbelievably supportive and has gotten me through some tough times," commented a follower.
"You’re so amazing for sharing all of this. You’re one of the first people I ever remember sharing such real, raw, vulnerable stories especially around pregnancy loss," shared someone else.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not fair, but you're strong and so inspiring," added another.