Pauley Perrette Went Through Divorce & Two Broken Engagements - She Does Not 'Want a Man’ Anymore

pauley perrette went through divorce & two broken engagements

After "NCIS" star Pauley Perrette experienced a painful divorce and two broken engagements, she turned her back on love and didn't want to be romantically involved with anyone.

Dating can be complicated, and former "NCIS" actress Pauley Perrette knows it firsthand. Born in March 1969, Perrette gave love many chances, but they were unsuccessful.

Now that Perrette is 52 years old, she chooses to be celibate and has no plans to date a man. Here are the details of her failed marriage and two broken engagements.

COMPLICATED LIFE BEFORE STARDOM

Before Perrette became famous worldwide for portraying Abby Sciuto in "NCIS," she had a very challenging life. Although she was born in New Orleans, her parents moved to different places throughout the South due to her dad's job.

She spent most of her teenage years in Atlanta, where she graduated from Crestwood High School. Unfortunately, that was arguably the most difficult period in her life.

Pauley Perrette on June 1, 2010 in Sydney, Australia | Photo: Getty Images
Pauley Perrette on June 1, 2010 in Sydney, Australia | Photo: Getty Images

In 2017, Perrette revealed a football player of her high school sexually assaulted her when she was 15 years old. He was the "power guy" at school, and she didn't say or do anything.

The actress eventually said that the heartbreaking experience impacted her mental and emotional life. She got involved in abusive relationships and dealt with self-esteem issues.

Perrette dismissed groping incidents and allowed herself to be bullied by a man in a position of power in a work environment. One of those toxic relationships she referred to was DJ Francis Shivers, her first husband.

Pauley Perrette and Francis Shivers on March 11, 2003 at CineSpace in Hollywood, California | Photo: Getty Images
Pauley Perrette and Francis Shivers on March 11, 2003 at CineSpace in Hollywood, California | Photo: Getty Images

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH FRANCIS SHIVERS

Shivers and Perrette tied the knot in 2000 but separated in 2004. Their marriage was destructive, and their divorce was a nightmare. After their split, she confessed he wouldn't stop harassing her.

The musician would hack into her computer, leave thousands of notes and threats on small pieces of yellow paper, and cut confetti into heart shapes similar to a tattoo they both got at the start of their relationship.

[Shivers] claimed she climbed through his window to attack a female friend.

Pauley Perrette on September 16, 2016 in Hollywood, California | Photo: Getty Images
Pauley Perrette on September 16, 2016 in Hollywood, California | Photo: Getty Images

Shivers tried to keep a house Perrette bought during their time together. When she won the place's custody in court, Shivers vandalized it by writing and drawing on the walls and damaging almost every room.

Perrette got a restraining order against him in 2004 because the court considered his actions were "frightening." Although authorities warned him not to stalk her, he violated the restraining order twice.

Pauley Perrette in 2016, in Beverly Hills, California. | Photo: Getty Images
Pauley Perrette in 2016, in Beverly Hills, California. | Photo: Getty Images

Shivers was arrested in 2012 and sentenced to 90 days behind bars. Perrette has fought for years to change stalking laws, alleging that:

"The biggest problem we have is that the stalking laws have not been updated since the internet. That is just ridiculous because a lot of stalkers use the internet."

Pauley Perrette on April 3, 2016 in Hollywood, California | Photo: Getty Images
Pauley Perrette on April 3, 2016 in Hollywood, California | Photo: Getty Images

Shivers and Perrette's situation took an unexpected turn in 2018 when he accused her of stalking him. He claimed she climbed through his window to attack a female friend and sent handwritten death threats.

However, the court dismissed his lawsuit because he is a "vexatious litigant." It means that, due to his criminal record, he needs the permission of a judge to submit court papers or legal complaints.

TWO MORE FAILED RELATIONSHIPS

After her traumatic relationship with Shivers, Perrette gave love a second try with cameraman Michael Bosman. They dated for four years before getting engaged.

The actress pointed out that they would not legally tie the knot until California's Proposition 8 was abolished. The law banned same-sex marriage, and she has been an LGBTQ+ advocate for years.

[Perrette left "NCIS"] following an incident with Mark Harmon's dog in 2016.

Pauley Perrette and Thomas Arklie on September 29, 2012 in Culver City, California | Photo: Getty Images
Pauley Perrette and Thomas Arklie on September 29, 2012 in Culver City, California | Photo: Getty Images

Still, Perrette and Bosman exchanged vows in front of friends and family. However, their relationship didn't stand the test of time, and they parted ways in 2008.

After that, Perrette began dating former British Royal Marine Thomas Arklie. They announced their engagement in 2011, but she revealed they wouldn't marry until Proposition 8 was abolished, just like she did with Bosman.

Although the law was overturned in 2013, Perrette and Arklie never married. By 2019, Perrette and Arklie were no longer a couple.

"I'M A SOLO ACT"

Later that year, she announced her single status on Twitter and confessed she chose to be celibate. The former "NCIS" star tweeted that she met a fireman who looked like the "imaginary" firefighter boyfriend who kept visiting her in her dreams.

However, Perrette admitted that she was celibate and didn't want a man in her life. "I'm no one's girlfriend. I'm a solo act," Perrette added.

Nowadays, Perrette is single and focused on helping others. After leaving "NCIS" in 2018 (more on that later), she created a scholarship fund for women who wanted to pursue a career in math and science at Valdosta State, her alma mater, and John Jay College of Criminal Justice.

DEATH OF HER ROLE MODEL

Unfortunately, Perrette's dad, Paul, passed away in January 2021 at 85 after testing positive for coronavirus. She was very close to her dad, and she frequently spoke publicly about how meaningful their relationship was.

One year after his death, the actress posted photos of Paul on Twitter and shared her discomfort about how she had to say goodbye: "on a nurse's cellphone."

Coming back to Perrette's departure from "NCIS," she revealed she did it following an incident with Mark Harmon's dog in 2016. He supposedly took his Pitbull mix, Dave, to the dog-friendly set, but Dave bit a production crew member in self-defense, causing a wound that needed 16 stitches.

Although the victim didn't blame Dave, Perrette and other production members were afraid of the dog. The actress raised her concerns, and everything got complicated.

Harmon, who was told to keep Dave on a leash or in his trailer, allegedly would purposely bring the dog out when Perrette was there. It created unwanted tension between both actors, who were unwilling to shoot together.

Both actors kept things civil for two years, but Perrette revealed on Twitter in 2018 that she experienced multiple physical assaults on set. Nowadays, Perrette is one of the main stars in CBS's "Broke."

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